Three years of dedication, three years of tears and laughter, three years of beautiful memories. After three years of being together, why cut it off now? Why didn’t I end it sooner? Why don’t I just stick with it and get through the hard times? My guy friends once told me that three years is a legendary hurdle for relationships. It’s like the three month trial. If you pass it, something must be working. If you break up, well, it’s ok. We’ll understand.
I just can’t take it any more. Things haven’t been working for a while. I’ve really tried my hardest. The past few episodes have been just so painful. I can’t watch anymore. It’s like a beautiful girl who walks in the room with a gorgeous Matthew Williamson dress (by the way, that dress was killer) and then opens her mouth and she’s so goddamn whiney. Everything looks so good but sounds so terrible!
In the past, our relationship was fun, flirty, unexpected. Each episode was a new surprise. She kept me on my toes, always waiting for more, even though the best part was waiting to see what the characters would be wearing. Now, she’s so predictable.
The characters are fatiguing. Serena is stuck in a ditzy-blonde rut. Blair is no longer that fire that I used to love. She’s gotten all soft and now actually starts crying in front of a group of people. Lilly is a cheating, serial monogamist. Ruffus needs to get some sex. Dan needs to get a life. Jenny is a coke snorting slut who wants to take over the air-headed Nate. Vanessa keeps her so passé hipster coolness. And Chuck, poor Chuck, the last character that still has a place in my heart, has been broken down by Blair and his good-for-nothing-poser mother. And now that Chuck and Blair have broken up, what is the purpose of watching the show?!
And I wish that she would listen to me. I sit in front of the screen, groaning and rolling my eyes at the hideous dialogue. Since when did she become “Days of Our Lives”? No one asked for such heartless, bland, monotone dialogue. And you broke up the most interesting couple in the whole show! How DARE you!
We are finished Gossip Girl. We’re over. And don’t beg me to come back to you. It’s not happening.
Anyone have any good rebound suggestions?